R is for Resistant (#atozchallenge)

This clip from The Big Bang Theory Tells you almost all you need to know about the difference between resilient and resistant.

We see Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard with a complex logic problem mapped out on the white board in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. It turns out that they are trying to choose a restaurant and a movie theater for that night's entertainment. The reason the process is so involved is because Leonard, Raj, and Howard are trying to satisfy Sheldon's demand that the theater has an Icee machine and sells Red Vines at the candy counter. They try multiple alternatives, all of which are met with Sheldon's resistance. Finally, they reach the only conclusion: leave Sheldon at home and go out without him.

Leonard, Raj, and Howard are resilient: they just want to get something to eat and go see a movie. Sheldon, who once commented that "as long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I can be flexible," is being resistant: he's willing to forgo dinner and a movie with his friends rather than settle for Twizzlers and a Slurpee.

If you've watched The Big Bang Theory from the beginning, you know that there are a lot of moments like this, where plans for an entertaining night are stymied by Sheldon's truculence. You wonder why they're willing to put up with him, an d the answer is simp[e: they're his friends.

There are good reasons to be resistant. Everyone has the hill they're willing to die on, although not necessarily over Red Vines and Icees. Sheldon is an extreme case, but we all do this. If you feel comfortable sharing, leave us a comment and let us know.

Q is for Querying #AtoZChallenge

Hi!

I’m Brandy, a writer of YA fantasy, thrillers and adult fantasy. And the Japanese proverb above encompasses my own personal definition of resilience: the ability to stand up after being knocked down, and a willingness to put yourself in a position to face the same circumstances, even when you know you might get knocked down again. 

Never have I found this more true than with the experience of querying.

For the writers out there you may associate querying with one of the steps on the path to traditional publishing. This is certainly what I think of. But I think that we all query way more than we realize.

A typical job search parallels querying very closely,

As does using dating apps,

Or, hoping for engagement with blog posts.

In all of these we are selling ourselves, our work, our experience and backgrounds, our interests, packaging them into tidy bundles that we hope will appeal.

And when rejection hits- it hurts.

A lot. 

This is where resilience comes in. 

For me resiliency in querying is based on two factors:

Accepting rejection without internalizing it.  My work is being rejected. But others' opinions on my work is not a reflection of my personal worth.

Reminding myself if a door closes, it probably wasn’t the door for me. I don’t want to work with an agent or publisher who doesn’t love my work. 

I think these translate well to other avenues of querying whether it’s in your work or personal life.

When you’re resilient you have the ability to accept rejection, despite how personal it feels, and continue to put yourselves out there.

If you’re writing that means continuing to query your book, or the next book.

If you’re applying to jobs that means continuing to search for a role you want and not settling for the first opening that says yes.

If you’re searching for connection that means continuing to look.

And if you’re putting yourself out there with blog posts, it means taking on challenges like A to Z, to find the right audience and to make connections with other bloggers.

Sure, I fall down a lot, but I always get back up.

Plodding Onward ( #AtoZChallenge )

 

Please tell us you haven't given up!  

Today I ran across a few blogs that seem to have stopped posting a few letters back.  If that's you and you feel like you cannot catch up then let me say:  "Yes you can!"

It's okay to fall behind a bit.  But do not give up!  Not yet.

Whatever you do though, be sure to have a good time.  After all, it's just blogging.

Let us know how you're doing.