Hi!
I’m Brandy, a writer of YA fantasy, thrillers and adult fantasy. And the Japanese proverb above encompasses my own personal definition of resilience: the ability to stand up after being knocked down, and a willingness to put yourself in a position to face the same circumstances, even when you know you might get knocked down again.
Never have I found this more true than with the experience of querying.
For the writers out there you may associate querying with one of the steps on the path to traditional publishing. This is certainly what I think of. But I think that we all query way more than we realize.
A typical job search parallels querying very closely,
As does using dating apps,
Or, hoping for engagement with blog posts.
In all of these we are selling ourselves, our work, our experience and backgrounds, our interests, packaging them into tidy bundles that we hope will appeal.
And when rejection hits- it hurts.
A lot.
This is where resilience comes in.
For me resiliency in querying is based on two factors:
Accepting rejection without internalizing it. My work is being rejected. But others' opinions on my work is not a reflection of my personal worth.
Reminding myself if a door closes, it probably wasn’t the door for me. I don’t want to work with an agent or publisher who doesn’t love my work.
I think these translate well to other avenues of querying whether it’s in your work or personal life.
When you’re resilient you have the ability to accept rejection, despite how personal it feels, and continue to put yourselves out there.
If you’re writing that means continuing to query your book, or the next book.
If you’re applying to jobs that means continuing to search for a role you want and not settling for the first opening that says yes.
If you’re searching for connection that means continuing to look.
And if you’re putting yourself out there with blog posts, it means taking on challenges like A to Z, to find the right audience and to make connections with other bloggers.
Sure, I fall down a lot, but I always get back up.
